so explain again why im purple
no
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
