Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
