Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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