His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
