you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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