i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
