he wants to bone in the snuggie
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
