Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
