OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
