I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
