that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
