I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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