i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
