i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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