Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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