For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
