i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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