Buhtt sex?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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