just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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