Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
