I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
