I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
