i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
