hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize