if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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