do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
