So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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