she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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