now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
