This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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