its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ambien. No doubt about it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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