is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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