You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
