Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
