I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
