The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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