My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
