Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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