i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
