jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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