this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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