Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my poor anus
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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