Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry m4ddy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.

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(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".

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(609): View more from New Jersey

pray to the hookup gods

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.

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