Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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