you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
