My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
