THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
