I could have mohawked her pubes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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