At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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