hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
