So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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