Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
