They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
