You're completely useless in the revolution.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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