took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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