one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how do flat chested girls get laid?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
