My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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