ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
