she was so not down for the gang bang
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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