Im at strip club and am horny
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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