There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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