my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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