Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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