sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
