Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I could make wine with my vomit
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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