and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
