we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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