I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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