Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
