I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
