i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
