it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
